Lost Without You
by DancingAroundAFire
Summary: She buried her face in his shoulder as he held her. All that she could think was that she needed him. She needed his arms around her, needed him to hold her tight and whisper that they'd find a way to make it through this... This is Annie's story in her POV starting before her games and ending a little after them. Authors: Wendy Hamlet and Emma Lane.
1. Chapter 1

**Here it is! As promised :) -Wendy.**

**Hey guys, this is Emma Lane!**

**It's really good to _finally_ get this story out. I've written the first chapter you see here, and the next chapter will be written by Wendy.**

**We're gonna try to update as often as possible, but if there is a gap, we're sorry!**

**Anyway, this story picks up a few months after Wendy's last story, "together we are complete" Left off, and Annie's perspective on everything that's going on is told. SO please enjoy, and don't forget to review! (it only takes a minute)**

**Chow!**

**-Emma**

**(pssst! Emma! You didn't write a chapter title...so I added one, hope you don't mind!) -Wendy.**

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**Chapter One: Thoughts.**

_Just jump._

I stand at the edge of Calypso's Cliff, and look over at the blue sea far below.

_You can do it._

I've never liked standing here, at the edge of the world it seems. The land juts out over the water like some sort of giant diving board, and as I listen to the water below, I shudder.

_Annie, jump._

No one has ever known about my irrational fear of heights, not even Finnick, my best friend who has been around me as long as I can remember, but it was always there regardless.

Of course, through the years Finnick usually tossed me over before I had time to scream, yell, anything; but today is different.

_Don't think about it._

Finnick is gone.

Well, not dead gone, but he is so far away he might as well be. A little while ago he received an official looking letter, stamped with the seal of the Capitol. He left that afternoon.

_Concentrate._

Just not having him here with me seems strange, that has always been our place, but I think that is why I came here today. I miss him, and love him so much that I needed to connect with something dear to him.

_Finnick._

My mind is restless. I don't sleep well at night when he is gone, and if I do drop off, my hazy dreams are filled with bloody memories of his games.

_Luna._

The little girl who saved Finn's life, passing away in his arms.

_The Careers._

I hated them. I always have. They deserved the deaths they received in the end, and I don't think anyone ever misses them.

_Wait, what?_

I shake my head in frustration. These strange, revengeful thoughts are actually new to me. I don't know what's wrong. Maybe...

_The time your mind failed you._

No. I'm never going back. I'm not fading again. I was younger than, my brother Robbert had just died, and Finnick had been reaped. I thought I would never see him again. I'm stronger now. Or am I?

_You are._

Perhaps. At least, I tell myself that I am.

_Oh Finn, I miss you so much._

But I mustn't think these things. I have a wonderful life, a mother who loves me dearly, even if she does occasionally overreact, and of course, Mags lives with us now.

Sometimes I feel like Mags is the only person in my world who never changes. She's like a rock, or a lifeline.

_Hmmm...her?_

Yes, well...

I shoot another glance over the cliff. The view hasn't changed much since the last time, but I've decided. I _can_ do this. I _will _face my fears. Finnick always has.

_Good girl._

Slowly, I walk to the very edge and stand there, my toes hugging the rocky soul. Not for long though, because seconds later, I fling myself into thin air and hurdle down towards the water, my eyes shut tight.

***Splash***

My body is plunged into the depths of the ocean, and I can feel bubbles rushing over my head.

_Go up._

I agree with myself. Time to surface. Blowing like a beached whale, I pop up ont top of the water. It feels wonderful, and as always I feel slightly stupid for being so afraid to jump. Diving again, I swim around underwater, with my eyes open this time, and watch the sun rays ripple all around me.

_Nothing ever changes here._

No it doesn't. This is one of the only places were I feel completely happy, completely at peace. Colors shift through the currents, and brightly colored fish swim below me, scattering when I wave my hand. Sometimes this life makes me feel like District Four is worth it.

_Or not._

True, or not.

Hours go by, and I would never notice, but today I have to. Today, Poseidon, Ariel and their kids are coming over for supper and I need to get home in time to help mom with the food.

_Get out._

Moments later I have to admit, I need to get home before dark, so I pull myself reluctantly onto the sandy shore and pull a long sweatshirt over my bikini. The sky is now full of clouds, big gray ones with a forbidding look about them and I figure that the weather changed relatively quickly since I got in swimming.

_Hurry._

I need to get home before it starts raining, so I start running, which isn't easy in sand. My feet plow through the pebbles at the water's edge, and in the distance I can hear the ocean bell ringing.

The ocean bell was put up recently as a precaution against the weather after two men drowned in a storm. They didn't see the clouds until it was too late, and they were los forever.

Now the bell rings whenever a storm is coming, calling the fishers back to shore.

After about fifteen minutes, I can see the roofs of the grey, weather-beaten shacks that line the shore-front, and La light drizzle is coming down.

As I get closer to the docks, I can hear the shouts of the men and women unloading their boats. One man, a friendly fellow I've known for years calls out to me,

"Annie, a bit late are we?"

I smile and reply.

"Not a bit actually, I had a free day and needed some me time."

"Well," He says, I need some me time too, but the only place for that on a boat is with the fish, so it's a good thing they aren't that talkative."

This brings a rowdy laugh from the others unloading around him. I smile, wave and move on. Mom is undoubtedly waiting by now, and I can tell it's getting darker. So I press forward.

The streets are getting muddy and people are pushing past me, eager to get home before the dark,and I find myself being shoved between them. Thank goodness it isn't far to the victors village.

By the time I reach it though, the rain is coming down in earnest and I feel it trickling down the back of my neck. A cold shiver rushes down my spine.

"Ugh...cold."

I mutter, and slog towards my house. The lights are on downstairs, letting a warm glow out into what little yard we have, and I break into a run, dashing through the puddles, up the walk, and in the front door.

That's when I notice that Ariel, Poseidon, their daughter Lily and son Eric are already there. And all of them are looking at me in a rather shocked way.

I stare back at them for a minute in a rather shocked way as well, but thank goodness for Poseidon, who breaks the silence with a laugh as he says.

"Well Annie, I like your outfit."

I look down at myself and blush slightly as I find I'm wearing only my cover up over my bikini. Ariel pokes Poseidon as she scolds him.

"Dear, really?"

He shrugs and I pull myself together quickly.

"It's okay, I um, didn't have time to change clothes, so it's my fault really."

Just then, my mother bustles into the crowded foyer chatting to no one in particular in a conversational voice.

"Ariel, Poseidon, how are you? I didn't expect you so soon, or I would have woken Mags from her nap. I was just thinking...uh...Annie?"

"Yes mom?"

"I think you had better go upstairs and change, don't you?"

I grin.

"That would be good."

She nods back.

"Go on then."

Poseidon winks at me as I push by to get at the stairs, and I stifle a grin. He's so laid back, someone in a bathing suit coverup doesn't affect him in the least. Well, he's gone through the Hunger games, so not much bothers him really.

I leap upstairs and hurry into my room, where I close the door and open my closet. I can hear the others moving around downstairs and talking, so I figure if I take my time, I won't be missed.

***Tap tap***

I look up sharply. Someone is knocking on my door.

_Ignore, it's probably just Lily playing around, she does that sometimes._

***Thunk thunk***

Well this isn't convenient.

"Who is it?" I call. No answer.

"Is someone out there?" Still nothing.

"Okay..." I frown and just stand there for a minute, listening.

***Wham! Wham! Wham!***

"Well, who is it?!" I yell at the door.

"It's Mags young lady, and if you don't open this door, I'll break it down myself!"

I leap for the handle. When Mags sounds like that, she means business. When the door opens, I see her standing there with her arms crossed, and a frown creasing her brow.

"I'm sorry about that, I explain. "I didn't know it was you, I thought it was Lily."

Mags doesn't answer to that, but instead shifts slightly.

"Can I come in?"

It isn't really a question. I hold the door open further.

"Sure."

She walks in and immediately proceeds to make herself comfortable on my bed.

"Ahh, that's better."

I twist my hands, and eye her. A few minutes go by. Finally I speak up.

"So...what's new?"

Mags grins.

"I don't know, I came to ask you."

"You came to ask me?"

She nods.

"Alright, but I'm warning you, it isn't very interesting."

Mags shakes her head.

"No, I wanted to talk to you about something. Someone actually."  
I have a feeling I know what she wants to say. She pats the bed beside her.

"Sit down."

The bed squeaks as I get settled.

"I have a feeling that you think you know what I'm going to say, don't you?"

Mags says. I smile and nod.

"Well, you're probably right. Tonight I want to talk to you about Finnick."

Finnick is more or less a touchy subject for me, but Mags knows him almost as much as I do, so...

"Where were you this afternoon?"

"At Calypso's Cliff, I went to...swim."

"Just to swim?"

I feel my face getting hot.

"No, I didn't just go to swim. I went for peace and quiet, and to think about Finn. I feel close to him there."

Mags nods slowly.

"I thought so."

"Is that a problem?"

"It all depends on how you look at it. You know that the reaping is coming up, right?"

I shudder.

"Yes, in two days."

_How could I forget?_

"Mmhmm. That is what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Alright, go ahead."

"Annie, we need to be careful, very careful as a matter of fact."

Mags words come out in a rush, like she had been keeping them pent up inside for a long time. I frown.

"Why?"

She looks slightly worried, which bothers me, because Mags always seems so confident, but here, now...not so much.

"Poseidon and I, we've been talking about the upcoming games, and what they will be like and all. You are aware of course, that you and Finnick have to keep a low profile as far as your relationship goes, right?"

"Yes." I reply. What is she getting at? She twists her hands together.

"Well, to be honest, I'm worried about you. Do you remember last month when you were seriously ill? Finnick missed a Capitol trip because he wouldn't leave you. I'm sure you remember, but anyway, not long after you got better, he received a letter stamped with the President's seal."

I feel my heart sink.

_Oh dear._

"After he read it, he looked very worried. However, when I asked him what it said, he wouldn't even tell _me._ Annie, I was one of his mentors. We've known each other for a long time, and he trusts me more than anyone. Or at least he used to."

"So." I venture. "How do you know that this letter was something to worry about? Maybe it was just a message for more days in the Capitol."

"Perhaps. Mags says. "But I don't think so. You see, after he read the through, he had a fearful look come over his face, and I heard him whisper; 'no, you can't have Annie.'"

She falls silent for a minute, then looks over at me.

"Annie, I think that Finn's letter was about you."

I feel a pit start to grow in my stomach.

"So, am I in trouble?"

"Possibly. I hate to think what went on in our estimable President's mind, but I'm hoping that the worst that will happen might be extra Capitol weeks. However, putting into consideration our present state of country, I'm afraid that we don't have that luxury."

I shake my head.

"But it seems so stupid. Finn just stayed behind because he was worried about me, not to purposely ignore President Snow."

"That may be Annie, but no one around Snow knows that. There are rumors of..."

Here Mags hesitates and looks around the room as if it might have eyes.

"Uprising, and the gamemakers and government officials are afraid."

"Do you really believe that?"

"To be honest, I don't know what to believe right now. It could be true, but I personally think that it would be to early for any sort of uprising. The districts simply aren't strong enough for that...not yet."

My room goes silent, and I sit on the edge of the bed, thinking about people in Districts far away. Perhaps there are men and women at this very time, meeting in the night, planning and dreaming of a future that they might not live to see. A future that none of us might see.

Mags breaks the quiet, unexpectedly changing the subject.

"So, how do you feel?"

I kick at the rug fringe.

"I feel fine."

"No signs of a relapse than?"

I look at her out of the corner of my eye. Somehow I get the feeling that Mags knows more than I think she does. Actually, I've thought that for a long time. Finnick probably told her.

"Well. I say, "I did feel a little strange today. I keep getting these weird thoughts in my head whenever I think about Finn's games...or the people who were in them."

_No, no Finnick...don't go!_

I clap my hands over my ears and sit very still, the images and voices fade away.

"Go on." Mags prompts. Slowly I lower my hands.

"My mind sometime plays tricks on me. Sometimes I feel like things are there that really aren't, or someone is talking to me and there isn't anyone in the room, and then this happens."  
"What happens?"

"I need to cover my ears. It makes me feel better...like somehow I can shut it all out."

Mags looks thoughtful.

"I see..."

Just then, we hear a voice floating up to us.  
"Annie! Mags! Where are you? Your dinners are getting cold, and we have company. We've been waiting for you."

Mom.

"Apparently." Mags says. "They have been waiting for us. We are needed in other places. Our presence is desired at the supper table."

There is a twinkle in her eye as she says this. I poke her.

"C'mon then, let's go."  
Mags heaves herself up off the bed, and straightens the kinks from her back.

"I'll race you downstairs."  
I stare at her.  
"You'll what?"

Mags sighs.

"Don't tell me your hearing is going. I said I'll race you downstairs. I have more in me than you think girly."

Shaking me head, I make for the door.

"On you mark. Get set."

"Hang on." Mags says as she walks over to me.

"Annie, I think it would be better if you didn't tell anyone about our conversation tonight. However, if you need to discuss anything, let me know. So, do you know what to do?"

I nod.

"Be careful and watch my back."  
Mags nods.

"Right. Good. Now...Go!"

She takes off running down the hall as fast as she can.

"Hey!" I yell. "No fair, I wasn't ready!"

"Too bad!"

Her voice is fading.

"Last one down gets the seat farthest away from the air conditioning vent...and you know how hot it gets inside, being summer and all."

With a shout of protest, I take off after her. Who would have thought that Mags could run so fast?

And so, life goes on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone! This is Wendy, and I'll be writing chapter two! Yay!**

**Then of course Emma will be writing chapter three and so on and so forth...anyway! I'm sorry for the late update, but this week has been stressful to say the least, so I hope you all will be understanding as to why I haven't written.**

**Plus I'm going to Chicago tomorrow (yay!) and so I was thinking if I posted a chapter right before I left, Emma will have the next chapter ready when I get back so I was trying to space out the updates.**

**I know you all are looking forward to this chapter and I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, hopefully once you read it you will be content to wait a little longer for updates :)**

**So here's the chapter, and I hope you all like it!**

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**Chapter Two: Tension**

I take a deep breath and try to decide whether I should try to fall back asleep, or get up.

_Get up._

I know I should...I wanted to go down to the beach this morning.

_So get up._

But I'm tired from yesterday, Poseidon and Ariel stayed rather late, and Lily and Eric had me on my feet the whole time.

_That's not a good excuse._

I know.

With another sigh, I roll out of bed and walk over to my dresser. As I'm rifling through the drawers, I find an old dark grey T-shirt. I pull it out of the drawer slowly, and I can feel an ache in my chest as I look at it.

It's Finnick's, he left it here months ago, when we first became a couple. I close my eyes as I think back.

_"Oh Finn, you left your shirt in my room a couple of nights ago. Here you go"_

_He smiles that little grin that he only gives me, and every time he does it it's like he's saying 'I love you'._

_"You keep it."_

_I hand it to him._

_"I'm not going to keep your shirt Finn, come on and take it."_

_He shook his head and kissed the tip of my nose._

_"I'd like you to keep it, you can wear it when I'm gone."_

_I reluctantly take back the shirt, and he gives me another grin._

_"Besides, you look so stinking cute when you wear it."_

_This makes me laugh, and I give him a kiss._

_"Well than I'll wear it just for you."_

_His deep-throated chuckle rumbles in his chest as he scoops me up into his strong arms and spins me around._

I sigh, and quickly wipe away the tear that leaked onto my cheek. For a moment, I could actually feel his strong arms around me, his lips against mine, I could smell the sea and sun on his skin. I could hear his voice and see his perfect sea green eyes.

Another tear threatens to escape, so I take a deep breath and try not to think about how long he's going to be gone...

The reaping is tomorrow, I don't even know if he'll be home for that. I know he's mentoring, he always does, but he might just meet the tributes on the train, or even in the capitol. Then he has to be gone for the entire length of the games, which can take weeks. When he finally gets to come home, I might only get him for six short months, if the capitol doesn't call him back before the victory tour.

I can't control the sob that escapes me throat, and I bury my face in the shirt, breathing in the smell of sunshine and sea spray that always surrounds Finn. I cry for a little while, trying to ease the constant pain I feel when he's away. I finally manage to calm down, and then I think about the good things. When he's home, Finn is mine, and only mine. He loves me more than anything, and I have his love forever, and he has mine. We may not have as much time together as we would both like, but when we are together, it's like heaven.

I pull the shirt on over my bikini top, and put on a pair of white shorts. The shorts are all frayed around the edge, and I know I'll probably have to throw them out soon, they only reach a couple inches down my thighs. But they'll do for a walk on the beach.

I slip out of my room and walk quietly downstairs, writing a quick note telling mom where I'll be, I set it where I know she'll find it; in front of the coffee maker. Then I exit the house and start the walk to the beach.

I'm not in a hurry, so I walk slowly, taking deep breaths of the salty air. I wave hello to some fishermen heading towards the docks, on their way to a long day's work.

My feet finally touch the beach, and I dig my toes into the soft sand. Inhaling deeply, I close my eyes and listen to the waves breaking along the shore. A thousand memories float through my mind, happy days with my brother and Finnick, then sad days after Robbert died. But the happy ones return, with whole days spent on the beach with Finn. It doesn't take me long to decide to go to Calypso's cliff. Finn loves it there, he says it's away from everything, and when he's there, it almost makes him forget all his troubles. It makes him feel like he's really home.

It hurts me every time Finn gets that haunted look in his eyes. He never talks about why it's there, but I know why. He feels like every time he's in the capitol, it erases more of who he really is, when he comes home, he has to deal with the looks, the whispers on the street, and the rumors. He's estranged in a place that used to be home to him, and when he's in the capitol, he's not even him anymore.

I try to help him with these things, but we all have to deal with our inner demons, and no one can completely understand. I think Mags' understands Finn's troubles more than I do, I think it's because she's had to deal with the same kind of thing. Victors can relate to one another, but they still have individual horrors that haunt their sleep at night.

I think about my...condition. It had gotten better.

_Not really._

Okay fine, I thought it had gotten better. After Robbert died, something inside of me snapped, Finnick was able to bring me back, and somehow he put up a wall to protect me from it happening again. But for a long time we weren't even friends, and the wall started shaking. I would see things that weren't there, hear things, reality blending with my imagination. Then Finn and I were friends again, and the hallucinations became less frequent. When he told me he loved me, and we both realized just how much we were to each other, in fact, I don't remember having one episode during that time.

But then there was the capitol...he finally told me the reason for his going, I didn't have time to think of myself as I thought of all the things he has, and is going through, and he'll never be free from the capitol. The first time he left, I had a really bad episode. I would see Finn everywhere, but he would be holding a trident...he would kill the tributes from his games, over and over again. The little girl who looked like an angel, Luna, the one who saved Finn's life twice. He called her his guardian angel. In my visions, he was the one who killed her, not the careers.

I told Finn once about my problem, and he had been so scared...the thought of me going mad again, the thought of him losing me, it almost made him rebel against the capitol. I quickly told him that it's better now, and I hardly ever have an episode. This had calmed him, and I haven't said any more on the subject.

I can't add my problems to his already crushing load of troubles. Sometimes when he returns from a long trip to the capitol, his shoulders are sagged, his eyes are dull and have that haunted look in them. His voice will be hollow and quiet, and he just looks so...broken. Like he can't remember who he is, and there's nothing left in the world for him to live for. It's times like these where I kiss him with all the love I have, and hold him tightly. Sometimes I will act like a little girl again, and this will make him laugh, reviving his memories of when we were young, when we didn't have any cares or worries, and he'll become himself again.

How can I ever tell him that when he's gone, my mind goes wild and I see and hear things all the time.

_You can't ever tell him._

I know.

_If he knew, it would only torture him, knowing there's nothing he can do._

There's isn't anything he can do, I'm the only one who can fight this. I have to keep the wall up, I have to keep it strong. I can't let Finn lose me...I can't lose myself.

_How can you keep the wall up when it's just barely holding together?_

I'll keep it together, I'll find a way to make it strong again.

_You can't when Finn's gone, he's your strongest piece._

I need to learn to be strong on my own. I always have Finn with me.

I run my fingers along the charm bracelet he gave me. Dark brown leather, woven into a two-inch thick band, small metal loops all around the band hold little charms to the bracelet. Ten charms that all represent a bond or memory that Finn and I share. My finger traces the small gold trident, that once hung on a gold chain Finn keeps around his neck. I gave it to him before his games, and he hasn't taken it off since. He put the trident on my bracelet to remind me that we will always have a piece of each other, no matter where we are.

I smile, and kiss the bracelet. I haven't taken it off since he gave it to me. I look up and see the cliffs in the distance, I stretch a little and then take off running.

I remember when Finn and I had started to get close again, he challenged me to a race. He's fast, but not as fast as I am. I had passed him easily and touched the water first, he couldn't believe how fast I can run, and I think he was a little put out that I could beat him. I reminded him that, although I can run faster than he can, he can out-swim me any day. I'm a good swimmer, but Finn was born for the water.

Sand is hard to run in, the ground keeps moving under your feet and it's hard to get any traction. But if you run on the wetter sand, and know how to land your feet and how to kick off the sand, you get into a rhythm and can cover a lot of ground.

I soon reach the cliffs, and after pulling Finn's old T-shirt off, I climb up to the largest point; Calypso's cliff. The cliff's surround the beautiful lagoon far below, and the high rocks protect it from the open ocean. The lagoon has a small outlet where water enters and leaves depending on the current, but for the most part the lagoon is calm and tranquil.

I hesitate on the high rocks, looking down, really far down, to the water below. I try to remember the feeling yesterday when I jumped off, the feeling when I realized that it was silly to be afraid. I've dived off the cliff a hundred times before...

_Finn was there though. He would never let anything happen to you._

That is true. My fears are gone when he's there, I know he will protect me. When I'm alone though, the fear of heights bubbles up inside me.

_He's not here to protect you._

I know he's not...but I need to learn to get over this. I need to know how to face my fears by myself.

_What would happen if Finn came home to learn you had drowned? He wouldn't be able to take it...he wouldn't have anything to live for._

I shake my head, trying to push back the thoughts and fears. Finn wouldn't do that...he couldn't. He knows I would never want it. I'm going to jump for Finn, he would be proud of me if I overcame my fears on my own. I have to be the strong girl he loves...the strong girl he thinks I am.

_Just because you act strong, doesn't mean you are._

Ugh, just shut up already! I can be strong, I don't need Finn to hold my hand for everything. I am strong, he knows I am.

I look past the lagoon to the open ocean, and see a small boat. It isn't unusual to see a boat around District four, it's actually unusual to _not _see any boats. But I've never seen one in this area before. The sailors tend to stay away from the rocks, the currents are always changing around Calypso's cliff, and it's very easy to get smashed on the rocks. One of the reasons this place is named Calypso's cliff, is because they say that this is the goddess' sacred place, and if any sailors dare come close she will claim their souls.

It's just an old fairy tale told to keep children from playing around the rocks. But the sailors avoid it all the same, I guess sailors have always been a little superstitious. Or maybe they're just smart.

It's probably around six-thirty now, because the sun is already up, bathing the sea in a soft orange glow. A wind blows off the water suddenly, and races up the cliff face. I shiver slightly as the chill breeze blows past me, the sun hasn't had time to warm the air yet, and standing on top of a cliff in a bathing suit tends to get a little chilly. I look down, knowing the water will be warm.

I look up to take one last glance at the small boat, and I blink in surprise as I see it's gone. I guess it sailed past when I was thinking. I take a deep breath, and jump.

_Be careful, Finn isn't here to save you if something happens._

This thought sends a panic through me, and I stiffen right before hitting the water. My body stings from the impact, and I scold myself for not diving. I didn't get a good breath before submerging, and I decide I need to surface to get some air into my lungs. The whole time I've been thinking this, I've been sinking, letting my muscle's relax.

I start to swim up, when suddenly my progress stops. I feel a tug against my hip, and look down. My shorts are caught on a rock.

I've never been afraid of water, swimming is something that every child in District four learns as fast as walking. Drowning has never been something to be afraid of because frankly, it hasn't ever seemed like a possibility.

But as I pull against my caught shorts, a memory I didn't know I had suddenly explodes across my vision.

_I hear a splash, and the water closes over my head. The water is cool, and it tastes like salt. I feel myself slowly sinking, down, down, down. I feel like I'm flying, but then my air runs out, and I'm struggling to reach the surface. Why can't I fly? Now I'm falling, down into the deep water. I'm going to die, I can't fly up to the air. _

_Then I hear something, and I can see someone coming towards me. They're flying, and oh how I envy them. They are flying through the water as easily as a bird flies in the sky. My vision is darkening, but before it goes completely black, I see a tousled mass of wavy bronze hair, and a pair of shining sea green eyes._

I suddenly remember when that was. I was only a very small child, and mother had taken me on the boat. I remember jumping off the railing. That was the first time I had met Finnick Odair. He had saved my life, and we had become inseparable after that.

_Finnick isn't here, he can't save your life this time._

Panic fills me instantly, and I accidentally inhale some water. The only time I've ever been afraid of drowning, Finnick was there, and he didn't let anything happen to me. Now I was drowning, and he wasn't here to save me.

I scrape my arm against the rocks, several jagged edges tearing the skin. I swallow more water, and begin to choke. My bracelet charms catch the dappled sunlight underwater, and I stop struggling.

I'm sorry Finn, I'm so sorry...

My limbs grow weaker, and my vision starts to fade. Right before I pass out, I see something, and I know it's my imagination.

There's a pair of sea green eyes, and a tousled mass of bronze hair, and they're looming out of blood clouded water.

I feel something hard against my back, and suddenly I roll onto my side and start choking up water, lots of it. My arm is stinging, my head is throbbing, and my ribs hurt. What happened? How did I get on the edge of the lagoon? All the water exits my lungs, and I gasp in the salty air, coughing several times.

"Annie, are you alright?"

I hear an anxious voice that sounds familiar, but everything is so hazy, it's probably just my imagination.

"Annie?"

I feel a hand on my arm and I spin around. For a brief second, I see the golden, sun tanned skin, wavy bronze hair and sea green eyes. I blink several times, and the figure in front of me re-focuses. The eyes and hair change, Light blue eyes, black hair...

_You know who this is._

I stare in shock at the young man in front of me, unable to say anything. He is looking into my green eyes intently, worry creasing his brow.

"Annie, are you alright?"

I sit up a little straighter, and shake my head slowly.

"I...what happened?"

The young man sighs in relief and relaxes, sitting on his knees in front of me. His black hair falls just past his ears, and its starting to curl a little at the ends. His bright blue eyes look into mine as he explains.

"I was out on my boat when I saw someone up on the cliffs. I didn't know about this lagoon, so I assumed they were...well jumping. I anchored my boat in a safe spot, and walked along the shore until I came here. I didn't see anyone around so I knew that whoever was on the cliff landed in the water. I waited for a moment, but when no one surfaced I dived in. You were just about unconscious when I found you."

I look down at where my shorts were caught on the rocks, and see that the frayed part was cut off. I look back up at the young man, and just stare at him for a minute. He watches me carefully and finally says slowly.

"Do you not recognise me?"

I continue to stare, wondering if this is all just a really intense episode.

"Annie it's me..."

I slowly reach my hand forward, and touch his shoulder.

_This is real. He's real. He's here, in front of you._

I pull my hand away, and shake my head.

"But...I...I don't understand."

The young man pulls the hair out of his eyes, and lets out a sigh.

"You don't know who I am."

I shake my head again.

"Irvin Glendower, you were my first boyfriend."

There's something in his eyes, maybe relief, maybe amusement.  
"So you do remember me? I was friends with Robbert when we were little, you remember? I didn't start dating you until we were fourteen. Then you dumped me."

I sigh and stand up, staggering slightly before regaining my balance. I pull the wet hair away from my face and rub my ribs.

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me. What are you doing here?"

He smiles as he stands up.

"Oh you know, saving your life."

I look at the lagoon, looking calm and peaceful.

"Yeah...thanks by the way."  
He shrugs.

"No problem."

He's taller than I remember, although still a little shorter than Finn. Finn is around six-three, and Irvin looks like he's about six-one. He's a lot more built too, his limbs and torso strong and lithe. His face has matured, he looks like a man now, slight five o'clock shadow adds to the affect.

It was a long time ago when I broke up with him...but I still remember how hard it was. I had to do it, it was right before reaping and I saw him getting killed everywhere, my nightmares filled with his bloody corpse. I couldn't handle being close to him...knowing that my fears had the possibility of becoming real. I thought breaking up with him would make it easier, but it hadn't.

It took me a long time to get over him, and now there's Finn, and he's so perfect, and he loves me so much. Irvin is just an old flame, that's all.

"Irvin..."

_Don't say it, don't bring up old feelings._

Right, that would be bad.

"Um...Thanks really, I mean it."  
He shrugs again, giving me a smile.

"I just did what anyone would do. So how have you been lately? I haven't really seen you around school."

I look around briefly and find Finn's old shirt as I reply.

"Oh really? I've been at school, I guess we just haven't run into each other."  
I pull on the shirt as he says.

"Or you've been avoiding me."

My head slips through the neck of the shirt, and I pull my hair out as I frown.

"Why would I be avoiding you?"

He shrugs again.

"Well...I thought things between us were going great, then out of the blue you break up with me and then you drop off the map. It was a little weird you know."  
I bite my lip, knowing that he deserves and explanation.

"I...I broke up with you because I was afraid to get close...the reaping was so close..."

He nods slowly.

"So you cared about me too much? That's why you broke up with me?"

I shrug and nod.

"Yeah I guess."

He laughs.

"Well that's the stupidest reason I've ever heard in my life."  
I glare at him and cross my arms.  
"Oh yeah? It's stupid because I was falling in love with you, and I was terrified that you would get reaped and I would lose you, and I thought that breaking up would make it better, would help me not to be scared. Is that's why it's stupid?"

He thinks for a moment before asking quietly.

"Did it?"

I look at him confused.

"Did what?"

"Did it help to break up with me?"

I think for a moment.

"No, it didn't. I just had to deal with the fear alone..."

He nods.

"I'm sorry."  
I stare at him.

"What?"

He shrugs.

"I'm sorry for bugging you until you went out with me, I shouldn't have pressured you, and I'm sorry for making you hurt."  
This has thrown me completely off guard. He should be angry with me, not apologizing. But that's not who he is, he's the boy who gives you a hug when you slap him, the one who kisses you when you scream at him, and the one who never blames you for anything.

"It wasn't your fault...I was just scared."  
He nods.

"Your best friend was reaped, then while you were living through hell watching him in the games, your brother dies. Yeah, I think you had every right to be scared."  
Was it really five years ago when all that happened? Finnick was just a boy, the youngest victor in the history of the games. Now he's a man, and still the most popular victor. I was only twelve than...

"Well...I still should have told you why. You deserved that much."

He shrugs, and there's silence for a few moments.  
"So how's Finnick? You two still close?"

I blush slightly, and remembering Mags words to be careful just shrug.

"He's doing fine, we're still pretty close."

He nods.

"Just pretty close?"

I gaze cooly at him.  
"Yes. Why?"

He points at what I'm wearing.

"Is that his shirt?"

I look down at the dark grey T-shirt and think quickly.

"I think it might have been my dads."

I hate lying, but for Finnick's sake I'll make an exception. Irvin nods.

"Oh okay, sorry for assuming."  
I shrug, feeling slightly guilty.

"That's okay."

He takes a deep breath, his chest expanding before he lets it out in a sigh. He looks around and asks.

"So what were you doing here? Besides drowning."  
I give him a look and say.  
"Well I was going for a swim, but I landed wrong and got winded, then my shorts caught on the rocks."  
He glances at the lagoon.

"You shouldn't go swimming alone. It's dangerous."  
I roll my eyes.

"Yeah thanks for the tip."

He smiles and shakes his head.

"You're still the same Annie."

I swallow hard. What does he mean by that? Does that mean I'm the still Annie that he loved? Does he still love me? If I'm the same Annie...do I love him? No, I love Finnick with all my heart.

_All your heart?_

Yes.

_Are you sure?_

Yes. I love Finnick more than anything. He is the love of my life.

"Do you want a ride back to the town? you probably aren't feeling that great after your ordeal."

I think over his offer for a long time, finally saying.

"Um...sure. Thank you."  
He shrugs and starts to walk towards the more sandy shore.

"No problem, I was heading back anyway. My boat is just over here."

He leads me around the high rocks until we come out at a little sandy cove where his small boat is anchored. He helps me on board and then pulls up the anchor. He walks to the helm and starts out towards deeper water.

His boat can go quite fast, and it skims the tops of the waves easily. I stand next to him and hold onto the rail, the wind whipping my hair around.

"What were you doing near the cliffs? no one ever goes there."  
He grins.

"Everyone thinks no one goes there. I go there quite often actually."

"Isn't it dangerous?"

He shakes his head.

"Not if you know the water like my dad, he's charted the current changes in that area. As long as you know which way the currents are going, and when they're going that way, it's as safe as the open water."

"But why were you out there?"

He looks at me with a smile.

"Well that's for me to know isn't it?"

I pout a little and turn back to the water. After a minute he says.

"I was out diving for pearls. My parents send them to the capitol. See District one may be luxury, the one who sends all the jewels and fancy things to the capitol, but District four is the only place you can get pearls, so they're rather rare and always on high demand."

He points to a bag.

"If you know what kind of clams and oysters to get, and you get enough of them, you get lucky. Once they're all cleaned and shining, you send them to the capitol and get money in return."

I open the bag slightly, and look inside to the different hued shells of several different shapes.

"I never knew that's what your family did."  
He shrugs.

"You didn't stick around long enough to meet my parents. I'd still like you to meet them though, they'd like you."  
Suddenly he cuts off the engine and turns to me, leaning against the ship's wheel.

"Hey, why don't you and your mom come over for dinner?"

I stare at him.

"What?"

He shrugs.

"Why not?"

I splutter for a moment.

"Why not? Because...because it's just weird that's why not!"

He chuckles.

"Why is it weird?"

I smooth my hair and let out an exasperated sigh.

"Urgh! It just is! You're my ex-boyfriend, our families shouldn't be getting close."  
He shrugs again.  
"Why not?"

"What is it with you and questions?"

He grins.

"We can still be friends can't we?"

I hesitate before answering, thinking about this. Could Irvin Glendower and I be friends? Could we just push aside our past and look at a future as friends?

"No."

He looks surprised.

"No?"

I nod. He shifts on his feet slightly.

"You're saying we can't be friends?"

I nod again.

"Can I ask why?"

I pause a long moment.

"We just can't."

It's his turn to nod.

"Is it because you still like me?"

I feel my cheeks turn red, and I'm about to blurt out that I have a boyfriend, when I bite my lip. I can't tell anyone, now of all times I have to be careful. I can't risk putting Finnick in danger.

"I...I don't know."

There's a moment of awkward silence, then Irvin finally says.

"Because I think I'm still in love with you."

He says it in a low voice, and his light blue eyes are staring into mine with a look that makes my heart flutter. No one can do that except Finnick, he's not allowed to make my heart skip a beat. He's not allowed to love me, my heart belongs to someone else.  
"Irvin...I...it's..."  
I stammer for a moment before giving up and just staring at the bottom of the boat. I hear Irvin chuckle slightly.

"Annie, I'm messing with you. Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

I look up and he's grinning, I blush slightly.

"That was mean."  
He laughs.

"Hey, I've moved on, I thought you did too."  
"I have!"

I blurt out, then I bite my lip to keep me from telling him everything. He looks surprised.

"Oh you have? Who's the lucky guy?"

I shrug.

"No one...I'm just not hung up on you anymore."  
He chuckles.

"Well you don't have to put it like that."

He turns the engine back on and we resume our journey back home. We don't talk much the rest of the way, the silence finally breaking when we see the docks.

"Nearly there now."  
Irvin says to no one in particular. He steers the boat skillfully into an open dock space, and ties it up. He then helps me onto the dock and grabs his bag.

"Come on, I'll walk you home."

He says with a small smile. I don't argue with him, and we walk slowly, enjoying the late morning sun. After a little while, he asks me.

"So you still living with Mags?"

I nod.

"Yeah, my mom and I."

"What happened to your old house? Did you sell it?"

I shake my head.

"Oh no, Finn pays to keep it clean...I guess we're just kind of saving it for the future."

I realize how that sounded, and quickly say.

"I mean, you know, when Mags passes away, or I want to live on my own. That kind of thing. It hold a lot of memories, we can't seem to let it go."  
He nods with a small smile.

"Yeah, I know how memories are. So that's cool that Finnick pays to keep it running."

I nod, thinking carefully over every word before saying it.

"Yes, It's like his home too. Since he grew up in the community home, we were always like his family...still are."

"It must be nice to have him around."  
I sigh.

"Except he's not around that much..."

"Oh right...the capitol. Spends a lot of time there does he?"

Something about the way he says it puts me on edge, like Finnick actually _likes_ it there. Well...I guess to everyone who doesn't know the truth that's what it seems like. Which is good I guess, since that's what the capitol has to believe as well.

"Um...yeah, they have a lot of interviews and photo shoots that just have to feature him."

Irvin shrugs.

"That's not what I've heard."  
I stop, and he stops as well. I can't help the anger in my voice as I say quickly.

"So you listen to every little rumor that you hear? Finnick is a good guy and he isn't shallow in the least!"

Irvin holds up his hands defensively.

"Whoa, whoa, I'm sorry...I was just commenting on what I'd heard about him. When I met Finnick I thought he was a really cool guy, there's no need for you to defend him."

I calm down and nod.

"Okay good."  
The rest of the walk home is spent mostly in silence, with the occasional comment. Finally we reach victors village, and Irvin stops.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow?"

I shrug, not wanting to think too much about tomorrow.

"Yeah, maybe. Goodbye."  
He smiles and waves as he walks off.

The rest of the day I can't get him out of my head, memories of when we were together clouding my brain. Mags and mom both comment on how distracted I seem, but luckily I can blame it on the reaping tomorrow. They nod and drop the subject, both knowing how...sensitive I can be about the reaping and the games.

After dinner, I find myself wanting to go somewhere, so I ask mom if I can go for a walk. She says yes and so I start walking, not really sure of where I'm going. I finally end up at my old house, and I walk inside. I wander around the rooms for a while, stopping when I reach my old bedroom. I smile as I remember the night I find Finn in here, after he had told me that he loved me. I had been hurt so many times, and he was always the cause for it, when he kissed me on the beach and said he loved me, I thought it would be better to walk away. I quickly found that it hurt far worse without him than it could ever hurt to lose him.

Well, that same night I found him up here, and we ended up kissing rather passionately until we fell asleep in each others arms.

I smile as memories of kissing Finnick replace the ones of Irvin. I sit on my old bed and on a whim open the nightstand drawer. I frown as I find a small metal box, carved with an ocean pattern. I lift it out and open the lid. Inside are scattered pieces of paper.

Tears fill my eyes as I lift one of the notes and smile.

_"Annie's smile that she gives me when I tease her."_

These are all the memories Finn and I wrote down one night we spent here. I had no idea he kept them. I search through them, and find that he added more, and they're all things about me.

_"How cute she looks when she wears one of my shirts."_

They're all things he loves about me, just little things that only he would notice. Little things that he loves about me. I read through them, and then carefully place them back in the nightstand and close the drawer. He must come here when we aren't together and write down the little things. The ache in my chest is still there, but there's also a wonderful feeling that surrounds the ache. It's the feeling I get every time I think about Finn. It's my total undying love for him.

I fall asleep that night in his old shirt, instead of nightmares I only have happy dreams of us together.

The next morning, I wake up with a smile on my face. That quickly vanishes when I realize. Today is reaping day.

I get up and dress in a green sun dress that matches my eyes. I know it's Finnick's favorite color, and if he's there today, maybe this will help cheer him up. I'll give him a smile too, I know that will help him get through the long weeks ahead.

Mom and Mags are already up and dressed when I come downstairs, and they have breakfast ready. We eat in silence, and then talk quietly until it's time to assemble in the town square for the reaping.

The streets are filling up with anxious families clinging to each other, staring in terror at the stage that holds the two large glass balls that hold the thousands of slips, each one sealing the fate of two children should it be drawn.

I look up and see the new escort, our old one became some hot-shot in the capitol a couple of years after Finnick won. I guess in a silly way they think that she was responsible for bringing forth this gorgeous and popular victor.

Our new escort is a young man with blindingly neon green hair with black tattoos on his neck and arms. He's wearing a brilliant blue suit that reflects the sun from where he's sitting in his chair.

Next to him I can see the mayor of our district, and a victor I don't recognise. The only victors I know are Mags, Finnick, Poseidon and Ariel. Well I knew Bruce, but he's not alive anymore so I'm not sure if that counts. This new victor is a woman who looks around the age of forty, she has copper hair and brown eyes. Her slight frame is relaxed on the chair, but she looks like she could be ready for anything in less than a second.

I sadly don't see Finnick. He must be meeting the tributes at the capitol. I won't be able to see him until after the games. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I turn around quickly.

"Irvin! What are you doing here?"

He smiles.

"Um, reaping remember? I'm still eligible for another year."

I nod.

"Oh yeah. Sorry I'm a bit distracted."  
He shrugs.

"Aren't we all? Good luck, or I should say, 'may the odds be ever in your favor'."

I chuckle slightly as he says the last bit in a mocking capitol accent.

"Well same to you I guess. Maybe I'll see you after the reaping?"

He shrugs as he walks over to the boys seventeen year old section.

"Maybe, we'll see won't we?"

I sign in quickly and find my place in the seventeen year old girl section. We wait for a while until everyone is assembled, then the mayor gives his speech about the dark days...blah, blah, blah. Our escort...I think he's named Tullio or something, prances up to the microphone and declares cheerily.

"Welcome, welcome! To the seventieth annual hunger games!"

_Welcome, welcome, two young children, to hell._


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello guys, this is Emma!**

**Sorry for the loooooonnnnggg delay in between updates, but I've been really busy. :(**

**However, I'm going to try to make it up to you by making this chapter longer than my first one was. Yay! Don't expect my chapters to be as long as Wendy's though, I'm not at that stage yet. :) So, I hope you enjoy it, and don't forget to leave a review, because that makes us write faster! PM if you have any questions as well.**

**Read on then!...**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Nightmare.**

I stand in silence, wishing I was somewhere else.

The Reaping is always stressful, but after Mags had that talk with me the other day, it is even more so. I started to get nervous the moment I stepped into the square, because on every side of me, I could see Peacekeepers.

Lined up in their white suits against the buildings, perched on the rooftops with guns trained on the murmuring crowd, mixed in with the higher ranking officials, literally _everywhere_.

From where I stand, I can still see them waiting to clear a path for the unlucky kids who get reaped this year, and I feel my stomach turn over. Seeing them only reminds me of the danger I might be in, and for the past couple days, anything Capitol related has sent me into a frenzy of worry.

I want to keep my head, but it is becoming increasingly harder every day. My dreams come in the broad daylight, nightmares that keep me from doing anything but crumpling into a ball on my bedroom floor, hands over my ears...

Crying.

Taking what sense I have left into my own hands though, I haven't told anyone. Not even Mags, and yes, I know she wanted me to tell her, but somehow I can't bring myself to do it. I don't want to bother anyone with my problems.

Suddenly, a gust of warm air blowing in from the sea, flings my hair into my face, snapping me back to reality.

Our escort, the guy with the neon green hair, Tullio Fresinger, is unfortunately blabbing away about what an honor it is to be District Four's new escort, how the District has seen so many victors over the years. Blah, blah, blah.

I really don't care what he things. Nobody does actually, and I can see the same look in the eyes of everyone around me.

_Just get this over with. Just draw the names, ruin someone's life, tear their family apart, and let us move on, and try to forget._

I can see that we in the crowd aren't the only ones tired of Tullio's seemingly endless stream of words, for up behind him on the stage, the Mayor shifts in his seat and looks at his wristwatch. And the victors, Mags among them, fake yawns and roll their eyes.

A loud cough comes from somewhere behind Tullio, making him jump and lose his train of though for a minute. At least long enough for victor that I don't recognise, the woman with the copper hair, to stand up and say in a bored voice, "all right, moving on now to the reaping."

Tullio is obviously upset that she has stolen his spotlight, but his ruffled feathers soon fall back into place as he realizes he still has the stage to himself. Taking a deep breath, he struts up to the microphone and announces, "Now for the drawing. Of course, ladies first!"

I can almost feel the waves of anxiety coming from the people around me, and as I watch Tullio dramatically make his way to the first glass ball full of paper slips, I start to drift away...

_I'm standing in a field, and dark clouds hang in the sky. A tree stands precisely in the middle of the field, but there is something strange about it. The trunk, branches and leaves are all black. And the longer I stand in the same place, I realize that there is a humming sound all around me. With every passing minute, the humming grows louder until I discover to my horror, that the humming is drawing something to me. I have no reason to believe that it is something bad, but somehow I know. That tall grass rustles, the tree sways, and I am rooted to the ground with fear. I can't move. My legs won't work. I'm going to die, I know it. That's when all hell breaks loose and..._

"Annie."

I'm shaken out of my horrible day-mare, to find a girl tapping me on the shoulder. I know her by sight, and I've been to school with her, but she's never spoken to me before. I look at her, puzzled.

"What?"

The girl looks nervously at me for a second, and then points to the stage. I follow her finger, and see Tullio standing there with an open slip of paper, looking around with a hand shading his eyes.

Okay, he read the name already.

I find myself wondering who the unlucky girl is, but there is something wrong. The other teenagers around me are slowly turning to face me. And then not only them, but everyone.

Tullio clears his throat. "Annie Cresta, please come up to the stage dear, wherever you are."

_It's YOU._

No, no it isn't. It has to be a mistake, there must be some other Annie Cresta in District Four. This isn't happening, because if it is, then it means that my worst dreams have come try. I won't believe it.

_Everyone is looking at you. Can't you see it?_

No they aren't.

People start to stir, move around and whisper as no one comes forward. I won't move, but as my eyes scan the stage, I see Mags. She is looking right at me, a disgusted expression written across her face as if to say, _"Stop being in denial and get your butt up here."_

I swallow hard, and instead of speaking out, I hope for a volunteer, it isn't uncommon here, and happens often in fact, but this year the odds aren't in my favor.

_You COWARD._

It's true. I am a coward, and I know it. If I can't even face this, then what _can _I face? Suddenly I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder and I whirl around to see a peacekeeper behind me.

"Come on then, he says, "let's get moving." With that, he starts to pull me through the crowd. I feel panic rising.

_Don't let him drag you like that._

I start to thrash around and scratch at him, but it is all to no avail. He is obviously prepared for situations like these, and he is much bigger and stronger than me. Normally I wouldn't act like this. I would just relent and apologize, but for some reason, I can't.

_How dare he mess with you._

Exactly.

I start to scream, and scratch with renewed strength, but everything is fading for some reason. The faces around me are pale, gray shapes in a thick fog, and I can only just hear the voice of Tullio saying, "My, my! Some excitement this year, just what we need!"

_Oh no it isn't._

No, it isn't. I'm right, I know I am.

_Wait..._

Quite out of the blue, my knees suddenly go weak, and I slowly crumple to the ground. I can feel hat tears trickling down my face, and gravel from the path digging into my legs. Almost automatically, my hands go over my ears, trying to block out the world. Maybe this is all a dream, maybe I will wake up.

_Annie, remember President Snow._

Oh no...

He is probably watching me right now. And I'm sure that this will amuse him to no end. That alone is what drives me to my feet. The burly peacekeeper tries to grab hold of my arm again, but I shrug him off.

"I can walk by myself."

I start towards the stage, and as I do, I see more peacekeepers fall into step all around me until I reach the concrete steps leading up to the platform where Tullio stands waiting for me, his neon green hair shining in the bright sunlight. My feet slowly find the stairs, and I climb like someone in a trance.

_This must be how your ancestors felt, going to be executed for their rebellion._

It must be.

At some point, Tullio must have taken my hand, for when my head clears, I find myself standing to one side of the microphone, while he is standing dramatically over the glass ball filled with the boy's slips. He hand dips down, and fishes around for a minute before selecting a paper. He whips it out, and hurries back to the microphone. I feel sweat drip down my face.

_Oh please don't let it be someone I know."_

The crowd is so hushed, you could hear a pin drop, they stand quietly in rows, waiting, watching. Tullio is in his element as he dramatically unfolds the small white slip, and as I watch him do it, I see that his fingernails are painted a bright red. Apt I suppose for his role.

_Blood is red._

Yes, it is.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Tullio announces, "The male tribute holding the honor of representing District Four for this year's annual Hunger Games is..." He quickly scans the paper.

"Irvin Glendower! Where are you Irvin? Come on up!"

He scans the crowd, looking for movement, and I see the seventeen year old boys clearing a path for...yes, it is Irvin. The Irvin I know. The Irvin I loved.

_Or do you still love him?_

No, I don't. I love Finnick...don't I?

My world is spinning again, the platform beneath my feet is first chalky grey, then black, then for some reason, red. Like Tullio's nails. I dimly hear the man in question say, "Annie, shake hands with Irvin." I shakily hold out my hand, and feel Irvin grasp it. I didn't even see him come up on the platform.

I'm sure my grip feels about as firm as a dead fish, but I don't really care. All my energy is being used to prevent myself from collapsing in a dead faint. I can't even _see_ Irvin right now, just a faint blur.

Finnick, oh Finn where are you?

_I'm walking through a forest. It's dark, cold, and for some reason, I feel like I'm being watched._

"Annie, come on girly."

I only know one person who would call me that. Mags. Confused, I open my eyes to see her next to me, holding my arm tightly and steering me towards the justice building. The reaping is over, and my sigh is back. I can't understand how I could have missed the end like that, but at least I won't have that dreadful moment in my memory forever.

Mags sweeps me past the cameramen, who line the doorway once you get inside, and leads me down a hall to a door. She opens it slowly, and hesitates, looking at me.

"Annie, I'll see you on the train."

I walk inside and look back at her. She gives me one last glance, then closes the door behind her.

I'm alone. I stand in the middle of the room, and look around. It has musty green wallpaper covering the walls, and is furnished with a sofa and chair that have both seen better days. Thick, dark curtains cover the windows, and a worn out carpet is beneath my feet.

All this combined means the room is very dark, and it doesn't appear to have been dusted or cleaned in a long while.

For a moment my mind flashes back to when Finnick was reaped, when I said goodbye to him and gave him his token, the trident necklace. I absent mindedly run my hand over the charm bracelet that holds the little gold trident. I know he won't be coming to say goodbye, but at least I have a part of him here with me.

I sink onto the lumpy sofa and drop my head into my hands. Everything that has happened today is beginning to sink in. I am going into the Hunger Games.

And even worse, to me anyway, is that Irvin is going along too. WHy couldn't the male tribute have been someone I've never seen before? It's very possible too.

Four is one of the largest districts, and you could feasibly live your whole life without even seeing the same person twice, if you didn't want to.

But no.

Life doesn't seem to work like that.

And I'm not a killer. I can't even swat a fly without feeling guilty. I feel a wave of misery flood my whole body, and I'm on the brink of crying when I hear the doorknob turn, and then before I know it, my mother is in the room with me. She always knows exactly how to make me feel better, but somehow, we are both aware that nothing can make me feel better right now.

So instead of saying anything, she just holds me.

After a few minutes, she does speak up.

"I...I don't know why, but I feel like this is somehow my fault. I know it can't possibly be, but..." She trails off, and when she starts talking again, a sob is rising in her voice. "Annie, you're the only thing I have left."

I look her in the eyes.

"Mom, I'm not coming back." A tear trickles down my cheek. "I just know it."

She looks like she's about to say something else, but the door is opened again, and a peacekeeper is saying, "Time's up ma'am, you need to come out now."

Mom turns to me with a terror filled face, and we hug one last time. As she is pulled out, she shouts over her shoulder.

"Finnick will get you out! I love you sweetheart!"

The door slams shut behind her, and I'm left alone again. I stare dumbly at the wall for a minute. I never thought that my final parting with the woman who raised me would be like this. Just a few words, and now I'll never see her again.

In the end, I think the things I didn't say will be the things I will regret the most.

I'm not really expecting anyone else to visit me, so I am surprised when the door opens on someone else. It turns out to be a woman that I only know distantly. I don't even remember her name, but she and her husband own a small fishing boat, and I've seen them coming and going in the market. So why is she here?

She stands there, fiddling with her skirt for a short period of time, then she sits down on the chair.

"You're probably wondering what I'm doing here." She says.

I just nod, and she motions to the couch.

"Sit down. I have some things to say, and only a limited time to say them."

This somewhat sharp order catches me off guard, but I sit down anyway.

"My name is Misha," she says, "and my husband's name is Tora. You probably don't know this, but years ago I was an instructor in the District's training center."

No, I didn't know that. In fact, it's doubtful that many people do. The training center is one of the most secretive places in the District, and even though most people know about it, they don't know who trains, or who works there.

That could be dangerous.

"So," she continues, "I wanted to give you some advice. Are you a fighter? I would assume not, but looks can be deceiving."

I shake my head.

"No, I'm not a fighter. I can't use any weapons. I'm not going to come out of the arena, because I won't kill anyone if I can help it."

Misha looks at me thoughtfully.

"I know where you're coming from," she agrees, "but what if someone attacks? Are you just going to stand there like a statue and let them kill you?"

_Well, what else could you do?_

"Um, well...I don't know really." I say, "Do they teach you skills in the Capitol before you go in?"

Misha shrugs.

"Some, yes. But it helps to know something before you get in there. Just remember Anne, the thing to remember in your case is that you _can_ get out of the arena without fighting. Granted it's hard, some would say nigh impossible, but I think that deep down inside, you want to come home."

"Well yes." I say. "Of course I do. But my question is, how?"

Misha stands up, disturbing the dust in the room.

"You'll know, when the time comes."

"But wait! The peacekeepers haven't come in yet." I plead. "Can't you help me any more than this?"

Then I hear boot steps out in the hall, and I look at Misha in shock.

"How did you know?"

She smiles and steps into the hall just as the peacekeeper is lifting his hand to knock.

"Years of practice."

I leap to my feet.

"Don't go, you haven't told me anything yet!" Misha pauses just outside the door.

"Oh no? I think I may have told you more than you think I have. But that's something you have to figure out on your own at a later time."

The peacekeeper lays a hand on her arm, but she shrugs his off.

"Annie, life is precious. Always remember that." Then Misha disappears down the hall, and the peacekeeper slams the door in my face.

_I don't think you really knew who Misha was, did you?_

Nope. I still don't.

The world is such a strange place, but I think I'm just beginning to learn that. Another thing I've learned, are just how few people I have had close to me in my life. My only sibling is dead, my father is dead, my boyfriend is in the Capitol, my ex-boyfriend is in another room facing the same fate, and all my other acquaintances are victors. Now I'm reaping the cost of being a loner, but soon, I'm going to be even more alone than I am now.

The arena looms before me, bloody images of years past. A girl, just like me, slowly living her last hours in suffering and pain.

_That could be you._

Really, in my mind, it already is. Tears threaten to fall again, and a wave of nausea sweeps through me, forcing me to retreat to the sofa. I bury my head in my hands, and don't look up again until I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"It's time to go now."

The voice isn't familiar at all. In fact, it sounds like a Capitolite. I look up, and my suspicions are confirmed. Tullio is standing there, and for a fleeting second, I think I see a strange expression cross his face. Pain? Sorrow? Maybe a thought somewhere deep inside his mind that says this might all be wrong? It's wrong what the Capitol, and mainly the President are doing to us?

After all, this is his first reaping. In a few years, it will just be another part of his life, and he will be immune to the looks on the faces of teenagers and children going to their deaths. Isn't death part of life? Death is a huge part of life in the Capitol. Tullio probably grew up watching the Games.

"It's time to go." He says again. "The car is waiting outside."

The look is gone. Perhaps I was mistaken, I guess I'll never really know.

"I'm ready."

I say standing up. I follow him out into the hall, and down several flights of stairs to the main level where the peacekeepers line the way to the entrance in two perfectly straight rows. We walk between them, and someone opens the door for us. Tullio makes me stop just before we go out.

"There will be cameras and paparazzi out there." He whispers. "Remember to smile big! This is so exciting isn't it?"

I can't help but feel sick again, but before I can get too worked up, Tullio whisks me out into the blazing sun. It is so bright that to even see the ground, I have to squint.

Cameras flash in my eyes, but what surprises me the most, is that all the photographers are completely quiet, save for a scratching noise as someone changes their film. This feels like a funeral.

_Isn't it though?_

Tullio guides me to the waiting car, a fancy black one with lots of silver trim, and even more peacekeepers all around it. I climb in, and sink onto a soft leather seat in the back. Then the door on the opposite side is opened, and Tullio climbs in next to me, followed by Irvin.

I can't help but notice that Tullio is purposely separating us. After all, who knows what could happen. Those bloodthirsty tributes could try to attack each other at any given moment, right? Oh if only they knew.

The motor starts suddenly, giving me a shock, and we pull slowly away from the building and down a paved road, one of the only ones in District Four. We are on our way to the station. As we ride, Tullio begins explaining exactly how we must act when we arrive, but I'm not listening to him anymore. I effectively tune him out, and steal a look at Irvin, unsure of what I might see in him.

He is sitting perfectly still, looking straight ahead at the road. His face betrays little to no emotion, and his hands are folded in his lap. This strikes me as strange. He bears hardly any resemblance to the sweet, sympathetic boy I saw yesterday.

_They say the games can change you, but I guess the process starts sooner than you thought._

I guess so. Or, it could be a front. I've seen that so many times over the years, and despite this fact, it often works.

I wonder what I look like to Irvin. to anyone else, for that matter.

_It probably doesn't matter anymore after what you did at the reaping._

True.

Now people will have a hard time seeing past the crazy girl who couldn't even bring herself to mount the stage. Depressed, I lean my forehead on the cool window glass and watch the land flash by. We have a longer ride to the station than many of the tributes will, for when the railroad was made, they couldn't bring it as close to the beach as they wanted too.

Something about the ground not being strong enough. I guess sand isn't the best support. Lost in my thoughts, the trip is over all too soon, and Tullio practically pushes Irvin and I out of the car and onto the platform where the train sits waiting. There we must stand for several minutes, letting reporters take even more pictures of us for press in the Capitol tomorrow. I ignore Tullio's instructions though, and don't smile. WHo could?

Instead I think of mom. I wish I had been able to tell her everything that was on my mind. My trouble with the Capitol, my fears about Finnick, and my mind slowly slipping away. Now I'll never have the chance. Life is fleeting, and I guess I never really thought about that until now.

Tullio is speaking to a reporter, so Irvin and I wait somewhat awkwardly, until the train door behind us slides open with a hiss, and someone steps out. It turns out to be the victor I had seen earlier, the one with copper-colored hair.

She scans the platform with a hand shading her eyes. When she sees Tullio, she sighs and turns to us.

"Follow me. He might take awhile."

Irvin and I exchange looks, and I can tell that we're both thinking the same thing.

Once we step inside, we aren't coming back.

It takes all I have to grasp the rail and pull myself up the few stairs into the train. When we are inside, we find ourselves in a long hallway. It is covered with grey paneling, and near the ceiling, florescent lights stick out of the wall.

The woman heads down this hall to the right, and motions for us to follow her. She says nothing, and we don't either, which makes for an almost eerie quiet. I can hear water running behind the wall somewhere though, and the lights flicker occasionally, making electrical noises.

We pass many closed doors, and at one point even pass through one that sits in our path. I notice that it seems rather bulky, and Irvin leans over and whispers, "That door we just went through, it was connecting two of the train cars. That's why it was so thick."

I look at him in surprise. I didn't know that he knew anything about trains, or anything other than fishing and school things for that matter. He grins. "I learned some about machines and other things like that in a special class. I can give some people quite a shock with my vast knowledge of the inner workings of gears and cogs."

"I'm skeptical," I whisper back. "How long was this course?" Irvin rolls his eyes.

"Well, if you must know, it was a one afternoon thing, but they packed a lot into it."

I catch the twinkle in his eyes, and immediately feel the heat rush to my face. I shake my hair into my face and keep walking, but it is almost like a wall shoots between us immediately.

Me and my stupid actions.

Just then, I ram into the copper haired woman's back and almost fall over. Apparently we have stopped. She turns around and gives me a queer look, then holds out a hand. Blushing, I take it and she pulls me up.

"Now," she says. "We are going to meet the other mentors. They are all in this room..." Here she gestures at a closed door. there seem to be an awful lot of those on the train.

"...and they will decide which two of us will be mentoring this year."

I nod, and Irvin does as well.

The woman swipes her hand over a pad on the wall, and the door slides open. We slowly enter the room and I feel eyes on us, but I can't bring myself to look up...until I hear a quickly suppressed gasp of breath.

Then I look up, but I wish I hadn't.

I'm looking straight into the sea green eyes, of Finnick Odair.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello peoples!**

**This is Wendy! I am super pumped to be getting on with this story *cough* no really I understand how busy Emma has been, and I've been really busy too, so I thought I would give you guys a chapter now so that you won't be waiting forever just because of me :(**

**I LOVE how Emma left the last chapter, and I have lots of plans, bwahahaha! This chapter will probably be like...extremely long just to warn you :P But I know you guys like long chapters so this is good news :)**

**So! Review, review, review! They are like sweet candy to our imagination, and they really do encourage us, whereas, no reviews = discouragement. You wouldn't want to be responsible for that now would you?**

**ON with the chapter then!**

* * *

**Chapter Four: No hope?**

I stop a little inside the doorway. Finnick is standing about ten feet in front of me, almost in the middle of the room. He is dressed in a pale green shirt that acentuates his eyes very well, the top three buttons are undone, of course, and he's wearing a pair of black pants. His hair is styled in it's typical capitol Finnick manner, and if it wasn't for his eyes, I would say I'm looking at the capitol Finnick. But no, his eyes are my Finn's.

I can see emotions running through him at rapid speed. Confusion, disbelief, anger, fear, disbelief again. It's like his mind is trying to comprehend what is going on, finally I can see realization dawn on his face, and then his eyes...they only hold pain.

I've never seen him hold this much pain before, not through the games, or after, not when he returned from his first trip to the capitol, not when Bruce died. Not even when I rejected him after he professed his love to me. The pain is like his heart has been shattered in a million pieces.

_Comfort him._

I can't.

_Yes you can._

No, there's nothing I can do.

_Show him how much you love him._

I can't, we're in enough trouble as it is.

We've both been frozen in each other's stare since I walked in the room, no one seems to notice, and I can vaugely hear them discussing who would be the best two for mentors this year.

Finnick's face is so stricken, that I just want to run and fling my arms around him, kiss him with all my love and just hold him. I completely forget that I'm the one who should be comforted, because now I know, this is going to be the hardest and most painful for him. The urge to be close to him is so strong...but I know I can't. The only one who knows about us here is Mags, we can't risk the capitol finding out...more than they already suspect. So I bite my lip, and force myself to stay put.

Suddenly, Finn's face changes, slowly, ever so slowly, the grief fades from his eyes. The pain is still there, but now a fierce intensity grows in them, I've only seen him like this a few times. It's his arena look, it's murder in his eyes. The pain and murder in his eyes merge, until their usual sea green, is tranformed into an emerald fire. I am suddenly very afraid, partly because of how deadly Finnick looks, but mostly because I'm afraid he'll do something that will get him killed.

Finnick is still looking into my eyes, but he isn't seeing me anymore, he's staring at something in his mind, and he is murdering it. Since he isn't actually seeing me right now, I drop my gaze. The conversation that's been going on slowly begins to sink in, and I hear one of the mentors say.

"So why don't we talk a little with our tributes, and we'll see who would suit them best as mentors..."

"_**I'm mentoring this year!**_"

Finnick's roar instantly silences everyone in the room. It was like a loud thunderclap, it started out as a boiling rumble before it burst out into a roaring shock. He still has the murderous painful light in his eyes, and his fists and jaw are clenched tightly. The room is silent, all eyes on Finn. He takes a deep breath, and says in a low and dangerous voice.

"I volunteered for the games, so I might as well volunteer as mentor. Anyone who wants to argue..."

He trails off and looks around the room. One of the older mentors, a grey haired man speaks up.

"Finnick, this isn't something you volunteer on..."

"I don't _care!_"

Finnick's shout cuts him off, and then he adds.

"I'm mentoring this year. I don't care who mentors with me."

Then he spins on his heel and storms out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. There's silence for a few moments, then Mags comes to the rescue.

"Well, it looks like we have our male mentor this year. Who should the female be?"

The copper haired woman steps forward.

"I'll do it Mags."

Mags nods.

"Alright Kendel, you and Finnick will be mentoring this year. That alright with everyone?"

The others nod, then one of the victors I don't recognise mutters.  
"I don't see why the kid was so intent on mentoring, we all know what happens in the capitol."

Mags comes to Finnick's rescue by turning on the victor with her scolding look and says quickly.

"You watch your mouth young man! Finnick has to deal with far more %$#& than any of us, and you know it. There's no need to jump to the worst conclusion when you don't know the facts!"

I can't help feeling happy inside.

_Good for Mags._

Yes, good for her.

The victor still looks unconvinced, but doesn't say anything else. This isn't good enough for Mags though, oh no, she has to reprimand him further.

"Did you ever think, just maybe he has a good reason for mentoring this year? The girl tribute this year if you didn't realize is Annie Cresta, she's been Finnick's best friend his entire life."

The man turns to me, and seems to recognise me. He immediately looks guilty.

"Sorry, I didn't realize."

Mags nods.

"Good, now you know."

Mags then turns to the copper haired lady, Kendel, and says quietly.

"Finnick is going to have a really hard time with this, go easy on him okay? He needs encouragement."

Kendel nods.

"He doesn't handle grief well?"

Mags shakes her head slowly. Kendel nods again and glances at the door he stormed through.

"I'll look after him Mags, don't you worry."  
Mags smiles and pats her arm.

"Thank you."

The train signals that it's time to leave, and the victors start to file out of the train. Ariel and Posiedon are there of course, and they come up to me immediately. Ariel and I have gotten to be good friends, and I can see she's struggling to keep her composer, but even with glassy eyes, she's holding her head high. She gives me a tight hug and says.

"You can do this Annie, if I can make it out, you'll be able to."

I nod, my throat growing tighter. She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and a tight smile.

"I'll be watching you, don't let me down alright?"

I nod and she turns and exits the train. Poseidon stands for a moment, then opens his arms. I run forward and hug him tightly, he gently puts his arms around me and says quietly.

"Ariel's right little one. I don't doubt we'll see you home soon."

I nod and hold back my sob. He kisses the top of my head and leaves. The other victors are all gone now, except for Kendel and Mags. Mags comes up to me with her most serious face. She holds my shoulders and looks me straight in the eyes.

"You're not as hopeless as you think. You don't have to be a fighter to win."

She's speaking from experiance I know, but I could never kill someone.  
"Mags I can't kill someone..."

She shakes her head.

"You don't know that, things change in the arena. I thought the same, but when the time came instict takes over. You my dear have a good head on your shoulders, I have complete faith in you."

She holds my face in her hands and says very quietly.

"Finnick will get you out."

That's what my mother said, can he get me out? No matter how helpless I am?

_Probably not._

"Be brave, and think straight."

She hugs me tightly, and kisses my cheek. Then she turns to Kendel and says quickly.

"You take care of them."  
Kendel nods, and Mags leaves the train. I stand frozen, staring at the door as it slides shut. I hear the engine of the train begin to warm up and with a sudden impulse I dash to the window. The train speeds away from the station, and I watch District four, my home, my life, the ocean, everything I hold so dear to me, fade into the distance.

Tullio suddenly appears by my side, where he's been I don't know. He looks out the window and says cheerfully.

"Here we go! Isn't it exciting?"

I don't say anything, trying to gather up as many visions of home as I can before it disappears forever.

"In a minute I'll show you two where your rooms are."  
Tullio continues, completely oblivious. I lose sight of the ocean, and then the dam breaks. I let out the sob I've been holding back, and run from the room. I know the train, I've been on it when Finn went on his victory tour. I know where I'm supposed to stay. I run straight to my room, slam the door and throw myself on the bed.

_That's the last time you'll ever see the ocean, your mother, Mags, home._

I know.

The sobs come thick and fast, and I feel like the ocean that is in my blood is leaking out of my eyes and I'm slowly losing more and more of it. I suddenly desperately need to be near water, so I run to the bathroom and slam my hand against the digital pad in the shower. Water intantly shoots out of six different streams and soaks me. I slide onto the shower floor and hug my knees, my tears running down my cheeks with the water pouring on my head. I'm still fully clothed, but I don't care, I just need to be in water, it has always comforted me. I don't know how long I've been in there when I hear my door open. I don't bother to stand up or see who it is, hopefully they'll just go away and leave me to cry. I glance up as the bathroom door opens, and I stare in shock as I see who it is.

"Finn..."

He pauses for a split second before running into the shower, pulling me to my feet and kissing me. I forget my own grief, because I can feel the pain and suffering that Finnick is going through, I can feel it in his lips, the way he's holding me. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself level with him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him. He's holding me so tightly I can hardly breathe, but I need to be held tightly, because I feel like I'm going to fall apart.

We're both soaked through now, but neither of us notice or care. We are locked together, feeling the other's pain, feeling the others love.

I don't know how long after it is when I finally pull away and rest my head against his chest. I close my eyes tightly, and breathe in deeply. Despite everything, Finn still smells like home. The sun, the ocean, the beach. All of it is part of him, and it comforts me. He rests his cheek against the top of my head, and just holds me tight. I never want him to let go, I want to be like this forever, I want to be with him, I _need_ to be with him forever.

"I love you."

I begin to cry again as Finnick whispers in my ear.

"I love you more than you could ever know."

He just says 'I love you' over and over, and I can feel his arms trembling ever so slightly, betraying how weak he is right now. I cling to him tightly.

"Finn what are we going to do?"

He doesn't say anything for a long time, finally he runs a hand down my wet hair and says calmly.

"We'll find a way to get through this. We'll find a way to stay together."

I nod and we stay for a while longer, just holding each other. Finally he says quietly.

"Annie, my love, I need to go before I'm missed."

I nod, but don't let him go. I can't. I need him. He's the only thing keeping me sane.

"Finn I can't let you go."

He gently pulls me back and holds my face in his hands. His eyes look straight into mine and he gives me a small smile, the kind he only does for me.

"Annie, you couldn't let me go if you tried."

I frown slightly.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He chuckles and kisses me on the forehead, right where the lines form when I frown.

"It means that no matter how hard you try, I'll always be with you."

I stretch on tip toe and kiss him.

"You'll always be with me?"

He nods.

"We belong together, so we'll always have a part of each other."

I nod.

"I have to go now love, I'll see you at dinner okay?"

I nod again. He gives me one last long kiss, and then leaves. I hear the door shut, and I take a deep breath. I feel stronger now, I don't know what it is, but I feel like nothing bad can happen as long as Finnick and I have each other, and we'll always have each other. I turn off the shower, and peel my soaked clothes off, then I step onto the pad that instantly blow dries my body, and dress in a pair of comfortable sweat pants and a soft T-shirt. I pull my wet hair into a pony-tail and sit on the edge of my bed.

I eventually fall asleep, worn out from the stressful day. I wake up a little before dinner, and decide that I might as well go to the dinning room. I feel refreshed and relaxed after my nap, and more confident. I know it's mainly because of Finnick, whenever I'm near him, I am the most strong and the most like myself. He's what completes and holds me together. I can't remember ever having an attack when he's around, and I am never anxious.

Maybe I can get through this. Everyone seems to think I can, and Finnick is here to help me. He would never let anything happen to me. I feel confident now, and foolish for my panic attack earlier. I can win this, if I really try, with Finnick's help I can.

_You'll have to kill people._

No I won't. I can win without killing anyone. I can run.

_You can't run forever._

Well that's true, but I still don't have to kill anyone.

_Nobody has ever won without killing at least one person._

Doubt begins to creep back in me, but I take a deep breath, and calm myself. I won't kill anybody, I can't, I don't care what Mags said, I just can't. Can I win without killing anyone?

_No._

I need to be near Finnick, I need to feel safe again. I hop off of the bed and walk into the hall. As I approach the dinning room, I hear voices. I slow down, and pause just outside the dinning room and listen.

"You probably don't remember me."

It's Irvin, he's talking to someone.

"No, I remember."

Oh no...it's Finnick. I feel a sense of anxiety wash over me. They've met only a few times before, when Irvin and I were...it's the senario where your ex meets your current boyfriend. I feel slightly better when I remember that Finnick and I's relationship is a secret.

"You're Irvin, we've met a few times before, when..."  
Finnick trails off, and Irvin finishes.

"When Annie and I dated, yeah."

There's a moment silence, then Irvin says.

"So you two are still best friends?"

I can tell Finnick is on guard by the way he replies.

"Yes. We've been best friends practically our whole lives, and we'll be best friends for the rest of our lives."

"Well with the way things are..."

Irvin trails off, and there's an uncomfortable pause. I can imagine the look Finnick is giving Irvin right now, but it's not his fault.

"Listen Finnick...um, about Annie."

"What about her?"

Finnick almost growls. Irvin lets out a sigh and says.

"I think we are both on the same page here."

"What do you mean?"

"We both want the same thing."

There's a hesitation before Finnick asks.

"What would that be?"

Irvin lowers his voice, but I can still hear his reply.

"We both want Annie to be the one who goes home."

There's dead silence, and I am so shocked that for a moment I can't even think straight. Before I collect my thoughts, I can hear Finnick saying.

"You obviously know that I want her to come home, but why would you?"

There's a long pause.

"It just makes more sense for her to win. She has more people that care about her, I just have my parents, they'll be alright without me. But Annie, she has her mother, Mags, you, she's close to a couple of the other victors too, I saw them say goodbye to her. She should be the one you try to get home."

There's another pause.

"So you're just giving up? You're not even going to try?"

Irvin replies quickly.

"No. I'm going to protect her, and get her as far as I can."

I can hear Finnick shift as he says.

"Why do you care? She dumped you."

Irvin chuckles slightly.

"That was a long time ago. I don't hold grudges."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Finnick says a little suspiciously. Irvin clears his throat and says quickly.

"You're not the only one who cares about her Finnick."

The shock of this last statement, is outwieghed by the fact that Finnick tends to be a little jealous, and what Irvin just said could make him overreact. So I take a deep breath and walk into the room. Finnick and Irvin both turn to me and say at the exact same time.

"Annie, what are you doing here?"

They both turn and give each other a look. Before any more dirty looks can be exchanged, I say casually.

"Um, dinner is going to be served soon. I'm hungry."

"Oh right, I guess it just slipped my mind."

Irvin says with a shrug. Finnick doesn't say anything, but just gives Irvin a dangerous look behind his back. I know we have to be careful so I just walk up to Finnick and give him a smile.

"Hey Finn. I'm glad you're going to be mentoring me."

He nods slightly and gives me a quick hug.

"Yeah, me too."

Kendel appears out of a hall, and after giving Finnick and I a quick look, she goes and sits down next to Irvin.

"You two might as well sit, dinner will be arriving soon and we need to talk."

Finnick puts his hand on my back and gives me a little push towards the table, I hide a smile as I give him a look that says, 'be good'. I can see his eyes grinning even though he has a perfectly straight face. I walk over to the table and sit across from Irvin, Finnick slides into the seat next to me, and after another small look, Kendel clears her throat and says.

"Finnick, I know we've met once or twice, but we don't really know each other. That could make it difficult for us to work together, but I expect you to be mature and respect my opinion."

Finnick is now in mentor mode, and he seems ages older than nineteen and a half.

"That sounds reasonable."

She nods.

"Good. I don't know your technic in mentoring, but hopefully we won't have too different of views."

Finnick smiles.

"I'm sure we'll get along just fine."

The ghost of a smile crosses her face, but she just says.

"Yes, I'm sure we will."

Tullio arrives dressed in different outfit than before, but it's just as ridiculous as the last. He cheerfully announces that dinner is on its way. Less than a minute later, the food arrives, and I am once again shocked at the incredible food, and the huge portions. Irvin's eyes grow wide at all the different dishes, but I can see he is angry that the capitol has this much food at their disposal, when the poor people in the Districts are starving. He gives me a look, I shrug and start loading a plate full of foods that will help keep me healthy.

Finnick and Kendel talk all through dinner about tactic's, strategies, and lots of other things to do with the games and mentoring. Although Finnick's full attention isn't on me, he slid his hand under the table and is holding mine all through the meal. It's comforting and I'm glad he is thinking of me even when he's occupied.

I only remember a few of the foods I ate, there was some kind of savory roast with potatoes and carrots, a strange creamy soup that tasted like salamon, a sweet salad with nuts and dates in it and lots of fruit. I also had two glasses of wine, I had only tasted it once before, and I enjoyed it immencely, however, wine is very pricey and our money is better spent elsewhere. The wine was very good, although in retrospect it probably wasn't the greatest idea.

After we're all done eating, we retire to one of the lounges to talk more and watch a recap of all the reapings. I'm feeling a little drowsy, probably from the wine, so I quickly sit down on one of the couches. Irvin chooses to sit on the other end of the couch. Kendel sits in a chair to one side, and Tullio chooses one on the other side of the couch. Finnick taps my knee, and I slide over a little, letting him sit on the end. I yawn as Kendel switches on the television, and flips to the channel that will be hosting anything and everything Hunger Games for the next couple weeks. I rest my head on Finnick's shoulder and close my eyes.

"You should watch this."

Finnick says quietly in my ear, as he puts his arm around me. I yawn again and feel myself drifting off.

"I know...I'm just so tired."

I feel Finnick gently brush his fingers up and down my arm.

"Alright. I'll tell you about them."

I can just hear Ceasar Flickerman's voice before I fall asleep.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the seventieth hunger games!"

I wake up as I feel someone slide their arms under my legs and arms and carefully lift me. I know it's Finnick, so I shift slightly and rest my head against his chest. I can distantly hear him tell Kendel and Irvin he's taking me to my room.

Finnick carries me to my room, and gently puts me on the bed. Then he pulls the covers over me and brushes a strand of hair out of my face. His hand lingers on my cheek.

"Goodnight love. Sleep well."  
He says quietly, he bends down and kisses my forehead, then straightens up. I slide my hand into his and murmur.

"Stay...please?"

He pauses, and then kisses my hand.

"Not tonight Annie, I'll see you in the morning."

He brushes the back of his hand against my cheek and gently slides his hand out of mine.

"I love you."

I shift slightly under the covers as I murmur.  
"I love you too."

He stands there for a brief moment longer, than turns and quietly leaves the room. I lay awake for a while, just thinking of home, and the coming weeks. I don't know if I can make it home, but I know that with Finnick's help I at least have a chance.

* * *

**Authors Note: Alright, I know it's not as long as I said, but I thought it wrapped up nicely. Emma, you can have the privilage of creating Annie's chariot costume, although I did have some ideas for that so PM me and I'll let you know what I had in mind ;) So I gave you guys some sappy stuff in this chapter, it's the first chapter with Finn so I had to put some mush in there :D I hope you all liked his reaction and attitude for everything...tell me what you guys think of Kendel and Irvin and anything else! Review please! Reviews seriously...if you have ever gotten a review you know what it feels like, wouldn't it be great to give someone else that feeling? Uh huh, so review away! The little button is right down there \/ see you next time!**

**~Wendy**

**PS: the little proofread button wasn't working on here so I apologize for any mistakes :P **


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